Have you not noticed you only ask such a question when you’re in the pits of your misery?
“Why are you miserable?
“You're miserable because you’re not getting your way. Instead of accepting your life as it is, you are stuck in your thoughts. What you imagine you try to force into existence, convincing yourself your imaginings are part of your natural fulfilment. Then life in its goodness delivers an awakening blow. You feel the sudden pain of it, just like banging your head off the wall. You come to me for a cure. I simply tell you, stop imagining, stop banging your head off the wall.
“You thank me, of course! But it’s not long before you start it again. Once more, you stagger before me, seeking another fix for your mind again out of control.
“What is reality, you ask? See it as it is, accept it as it is, BE it as it is; this is the one and only reality.”
So spoke the Magus to Zara.
Zara the Sacred Feminine at Amazon